How Dating Apps Made Me Think Differently About The Colour Of My Skin

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As a person of color, navigating the world of dating can often come with its own set of challenges. From microaggressions to blatant racism, the experience of dating as a person of color can be vastly different from that of our white counterparts. However, it wasn't until I started using dating apps that I truly began to see the impact that my skin color had on my dating experiences.

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The Illusion of a Post-Racial Society

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In a post-racial society, one would assume that the color of one's skin would not play a significant role in their dating experiences. However, the reality is far from this idealized vision. Dating apps, while providing a platform for people to connect, have also highlighted the racial biases that exist within the dating world. As a person of color, I quickly realized that my skin color was not always seen as an asset on these platforms.

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The Impact of Racial Preferences

One of the first things I noticed when using dating apps was the prevalence of racial preferences. Many profiles explicitly stated a preference for a certain race or ethnicity, while others subtly hinted at it through their choice of photos and language. This made me realize that my skin color was not always seen as desirable in the dating world, and it forced me to confront the biases and prejudices that exist within society.

Internalized Racism and Self-Worth

As I continued to use dating apps, I found myself grappling with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Seeing the prevalence of racial preferences made me question my own self-worth and attractiveness. I began to internalize the idea that my skin color made me less desirable, and this had a profound impact on my self-esteem. It was a harsh reminder of the systemic racism that permeates our society and the ways in which it can seep into our personal lives.

Confronting Biases and Prejudices

Using dating apps as a person of color forced me to confront the biases and prejudices that exist within the dating world. It made me question why certain racial preferences were so prevalent and why my skin color was not always seen as attractive. It also made me realize the importance of discussing race and racism in the context of dating, as these conversations are crucial in challenging and dismantling the existing biases and prejudices.

Redefining Beauty and Attractiveness

Despite the challenges I faced, using dating apps also allowed me to redefine my own standards of beauty and attractiveness. It forced me to confront the narrow beauty standards that society often imposes and to embrace my own unique beauty as a person of color. It also allowed me to connect with others who appreciated and valued my skin color, challenging the notion that my race made me less desirable.

The Importance of Inclusivity and Representation

Ultimately, my experiences on dating apps have emphasized the importance of inclusivity and representation in the dating world. It is crucial for dating platforms to actively address and combat racial biases and preferences, and to create spaces that are inclusive and welcoming for people of all races and ethnicities. This not only benefits individuals like myself, but also contributes to a more equitable and just society.

In conclusion, using dating apps as a person of color has made me think differently about the color of my skin. It has forced me to confront the biases and prejudices that exist within the dating world, while also allowing me to redefine my own standards of beauty and attractiveness. It has been a challenging and eye-opening experience, but one that has ultimately led to personal growth and a greater understanding of the complexities of race and dating.